How do you deal with change?

It’s human nature to be resistant to change as it makes all of us uncomfortable. When you are uncomfortable you go into your fight or flight mode. Some shutdown, some get defensive, but there is a third option. My fiancée recently started Yoga Instructor School and she said something the other day that I thought was enlightening. “You can identify your negative emotions coming on, be able to acknowledge them, (not suppress them), and then find the positive in the change before you react.” This isn’t easy and takes practice, but don’t allow your emotions to control you.  

Think of this from a work perspective for a second. If you were hiring and were looking for the perfect person, would you want someone who shuts down and/or gets angry when change happens, or would you prefer someone who maintains a positive attitude and looks at change as an opportunity. If you are being honest with yourself, it would be the latter. The fact of the matter is, you really shouldn’t expect stability in today’s world. In the fast paced world we live in, it’s better to just accept the fact that changes are going to happen and happen often.

Here are three questions you can ask yourself once you’ve identified your negative emotions starting to hit you.

1.) Do I fully understand this change and why it’s happening?

When you don’t have all of the information about a change it’s easy to jump to conclusions. Those conclusions are usually negative ones. It’s important to understand the full story before you react to a situation, especially if something is communicated in writing. A good leadership team will communicate the why behind what they are doing, but if that doesn’t happen, all you have to do is ask.

2.) What will I accomplish if I react emotionally to this situation?

Do you want to be known in the workplace or in life as someone who isn’t adaptable, or someone who always gets angry at change? Ask yourself, if I react emotionally how will others around view me. How will my boss view me? The fact of the matter is, every interaction you have with someone is a job interview. You are building a personal brand. What do you want that brand to be? Think about that for a second.  Brian Tracy said, “Let’s say you had nothing to do with the negative situation, maybe you weren’t involved at all. You’re still responsible for how you respond to it. This is what is called your ‘response-ability’ — your ability to respond in a positive way. And again, to respond in a positive way, you simply repeat to yourself, I am responsible.”

3.) How can I find the positive in this change?

It may sound cliché but I’m a big believer in the term, “there is a positive to every negative”. You just have to search for it. The other day I was golfing on a 105 degree day and I hit a bad shot. My friend looked at me and I said, “At least my ball is in the shade”. You see, once you train your brain to think of the positive rather than the negative it will unlock all of the doors that have been shut for you. You win instead of lose. While everyone else is complaining, you are already separating yourself from your peers. Even if you can’t find a positive at the moment, at least think to yourself,  “If I can’t control this change then the only thing I can do is control how I react to it. I’m going to embrace this and make the best of it to show everyone around me that I’m adaptable and a team player.”

Comfort zones are where your dreams of success go to die. When you are anxious about change you need to push yourself out of your comfort zone more than ever. Otherwise you will be stuck in the same spot your entire life.

Dale